Road to Film of 2009

And here begins the road to the best film of the year, the year being 2009!

First I think it would be enlightening to post my movies of 2008 (full disclosure: This was posted on Facebook on new years eve 2008)

As 2008 rapidly approaches it’s end here in Montana, I realize that i must do my duty as a lover of movies to tell all you stupid people out there what films are good. So please sit back and relax as i tell you which movies i enjoyed in the classic Ten item countdown list starting with…

10: Wall*E- Animation at it’s most moving. Few movies about the destruction of the world, where the main character is an robot who doesn’t talk, and whose only friend is a cockroach, are as funny as Wall*E. While not the best animated movie ever, that of course goes to The Lion King, it was by far my favorite of the year.

Moving right along to number…

9: Iron Man- Comic book movies hit an all time high this year, and it all started with this gem. The first film Marvel produced completely independent of the major studios and it shows with attention to detail, and style that could only be produced by a comic company working directly with the filmmakers. Robert Downey Jr. gives another incredible performance that has made him as popular as he deserves to be, if you liked him in this movie or my number 8 film seek out A Scanner Darkly you’ll love it. Jon Favreau whose last film was the hilarious Elf, proves that he can helm a big budget action blockbuster!

In the name of all that is holy what is…

8: Tropic Thunder- Two in a row for Mr. Downey Jr., this movie made me laugh longer and harder (lol thats a good one) than any other film this year. From the moment I realized the commercial for “Booty Sweat” was a part of the film, to the end of Tom Cruise’s dance at the end, i was laughing. Ben Stiller proves that despite starring in shit like Starsky and Hutch, and Meet the Fockers, when he gets behind the camera it’s non-stop laughs. By far the best collection of small-parts and cameos in a film in a long time.

Why was 6 afraid of…

7: The Curious Case of Benjamin Button- This long epic movie was spectacular in every sense of the word. Playing the titular man who ages in reverse Brad Pitt shines. His work throughout the film, coupled with the truly masterful special effects wizards, made you believe that a man who looked so old could be so childish. Also any movie that can tell such a simple story but leave such deep layers as to confuse the living shit out of me is a good movie in my book. Fincher’s best work since Fight Club.

Hey look over there is it…

6: W.- Very few of my friends saw it, which confuses me. Josh Brolin turns in the kind of performance oscars are made for. Pretty much every performance is spectacular, either right on impersonations of the figure portrayed (Thandie Newton and Brolin as Condaleeza Rice and W. jump out first and foremost) or so good you forgive the inaccuracy (James Cromwell and Jeffrey Wright as Bush sr. and Colin Powell). The only weak spot was Richard Dreyfuss whose Dick Cheney was like a bad Mad Tv sketch. Oliver Stone who is normally heavy handed when presenting politics in his films has created a truly even handed film.

What comes after 6 oh yeah..

5: Zack and Miri Make a Porno- leave it to Kevin Smith to make a love story about porno, and make it more inappropriate than your average hardcore film, and WAY WAY FUNNIER. The characters are classic Smith characters. Distancing himself from his view askewniverse by dropping Jay and his silent pal. If you like any of Smith’s previous films you owe it to yourself to see this, and if you don’t like any of his other films, you owe it to yourself to see Zack and Miri Make a Porno.

Comin’ round the track getting closer by the minute it’s…

4: Bottleshock- “What?” you are probably asking yourself “I have never heard of such a film!” well if that is what you are saying, I’m sorry because you missed one of the most entertaining true life movies about California Vineyards in the 1970’s that came out this year. Starring Chris Pine (soon to be the young Captain James T. Kirk) and Bill Pullman as wine makers in northern CA, Bottleshock is extremely funny, and truly heartfelt. Alan Rickman gives a superbly funny performance as a snooty British wine freak that alone is worth the price of a ticket, the fact that the rest of the movie is just as good should make you want to go out and at least rent it right now.

In the name of the father, the son and the holy…

3: Burn After Reading- Just a funny farce. The Coen Brothers follow up last years great, moody oscar winner No Country For Old Men with a film that by comparison is a piece of fluff. Oh but what a wonderfully crafted piece of fluff it is. With an all star cast of acadamy award nominees and winners including George Clooney, Tilda Swinton, Brad Pitt, and John Malkovich playing a group of the biggest jerks and idiots this side of Philadelphia (a reference to a show, not to the actual city which ive heard is a spectacular place and i hope to one day go!) Burn After Reading will keep you guessing and laughing throughout. A real test of a filmmaker is to see if they can surprise you with violence and still make you laugh, the Coens and mister Pitt have done this.

Here she is…


2: Hellboy 2: The Golden Army- I love this movie! No other movie, including my number one pick, took an idea and created a universe as completely as Guillermo Del Toro did with Mike Mignola’s Hellboy. Everything about this movie was epic, with a capital E-P-I-C, with set pieces that would look just as good on the pages of a comic. Ron Perlman reprises his role as the son of the fallen one and my favorite superhero Hellboy, and he is hilarious and perfect. Most fun action adventure film of the year, hands down.

And now the moment you’ve all been waiting for, i bet you cant guess what i chose for number…

1: The Dark Knight- It should have been obvious from the beginning. Anyone that knows me, and i assume you all do, knows ive saw the movie 5 times in theaters and twice more since i got it on DVD. Everything about this movie is great. Heath Ledger need not be mentioned other than to say “HOLY SHIT WOW HE SURE WAS GOOD!”. Aaron Eckhart, who ive been a fan of since i first saw In the Company of Men, was spectacular as the tragic Harvey Dent, playing the opposite side of the coin to Christian Bales Bruce Wayne. Gary Oldman and Micheal Caine both wow on screen, well everyone does. Christopher Nolan can’t make a bad movie in my opinion, and I humbly await his next film, whatever it may be.

HONORABLE MENTIONS: these are a couple movies i saw in theaters and loved, but they didn’t quite make the list for one reason of another.

*Speed Racer- Saw it in IMAX and it was probably the most fun i had at the theaters. Fast paced, explosive, colorful, and childish (but in a good way) the Wachowski brothers show that despite the darkness of the Matrix films, they no how to make a fun, light-hearted flick after all.

*Punisher:War Zone- Saw this ultra-violent, over-acted, piece of trash with a group of friends and we all knew what we were in for. When i say trash i mean that in the kindest way humanly possible, it was just fun. Laughing and yelling at the screen my friends and I had a good ole time watching a tall man in black combat gear kill many many people in terrible terrible ways.


Babylon A.D.- Vin Diesel’s latest piece of throbbing, pus-spewing, boil-covered, moose excrement was a science fiction fan’s worst nightmare. From the terrible story, and the even worse acting (when Mr. Diesel does the best job in a movie you know you have a problem) to the poorly directed “action sequences” you’ll be wishing for The Pacifier within the first 10 minutes. Until you get to the last act of the stupid fucking movie, then you will wish for a time machine, so you could go back in time and kill yourself before you buy your ticket to the movie. I’ve heard rumors that the DVD version is slightly better, even if this is true i would rather watch nine hours of a british man discussing different colors of paint than sit through Babylon A.D.


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