Tank Girl

This poster is pretty cool

Tank Girl is a pretty good flick.It’s got hot chicks, weird creatures, 90’s style action where there isn’t any CG so everything kind of looks like toys instead of shiny, weightless versions of whatever it is. Basically, Tank Girl tells the timeless tale of a weird scavenger hot chick in a post-apocalyptic desert who has to take down the power and water guys with the help of a weird nerdy hot chick and a bunch of kangaroo people. Malcolm McDowell is in charge of the power and water so he’s like the bad guy so that’s cool cause i really like Malcolm McDowell.

Lori Petty plays the titular Tank Girl (lol titular). I’ve never really seen her in anything but she does a good job of creating a live action cartoon character. That’s one of the interesting/annoying things about Tank Girl the character, despite the fact that she has always lived in a post-apocalyptic wasteland that was specifically described at the beginning as having no cable tv Tank Girl has an encyclopedic knowledge of pop culture, also a shit load of hair dye, seriously they can’t find water but they must have hair dye on tap, not that I’m complaining chicks with multi-colored hair is one of my favorite things.

This movie is based on a comic book that is also called Tank Girl. I’ve only read a couple pages of one Tank Girl comic and it was a lot like this movie in that it has a whole lot going on none of it really making coherent sense. However, the comic was created by the guy who helped create Gorillaz and I really like that band, that really doesn’t have much to do with my review of the movie except that it kind of means I’m slightly predisposed to give this flick a chance, I’m also predisposed to like this movie because it has a chick wearing a bra made from missiles, practical? No, awesome? Yes.

The Rippers are cool. One of them is even a reincarnated Jack Kerouac so that’s pretty cool, also he is played by  Reg E. Cathey which is also cool. Anyway the Rippers are like genetically engineered super soldiers created using kangaroo DNA. While it is a pretty cool idea within the movie that doesn’t really make sense, I’ve lived in Australia and saw kangaroo in the wild and they kind of just sleep and they have to jump to move, that doesn’t seem like things a super soldier should do, oh well the creature effects in the movie are still rad, I have never seen a kangaroo human hybrid in real life but this is probably what they would look like, that or the Warriors of Virtue. Ice-T plays one of the Rippers, the fact that he does really adds nothing but he also contributes a rap tune that’s really slow which makes for a bizarre action scene where Tank Girl raids a power and water base.

Speaking of power and water, this really doesn’t pertain much but I’m pretty sure my mom used to work for a power and water company in Australia, I should ask her if Malcolm McDowell was her boss and if she ever had to stab a dude with a water bottle in order to attain his water. This movie is weird.

As far as comic book movies in the mid-90’s go this is way better than most of them (The Phantom, The Shadow, the Shitty Batmans) but it’s not really great in comparison to other comic book movies since, although I don’t think you can compare the comic Tank Girl to most other comics so maybe that’s the point. Over all, this flick is a piece of inconsequential popcorn entertainment that’s just weird enough for me to recommend it and a bit too weird for your everyday plebs.

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One Response to “Tank Girl”

  1. I didn’t work for Malcolm, but I did work with a guy whose last name was Cockburn and made us all pronouce it Co-burn. bwahahaha

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