My Review of the 1st forty-five seconds of Paper Heart

The first 45 seconds of Paper Heart tell the story of an asian-american girl who holds a strange-looking microphone and awkwardly asks people if they are in love or if they have ever been in love. She makes weird faces and makes terrible attempts at initiating an interview, she then says “There’s not a soul in the world that wants to talk to me”. Then from 43 seconds to 45 seconds into the film a man says “Woo Viva Las Vegas” this is an excellent way to establish the setting of a film. Too bad I have no interest in watching the rest of this film.

The best part of the first 45 seconds of this movie is the Overture Film logo because there is no sound of some annoying girl saying annoying twee things about love, also there is no music.

The music in the first 45 seconds of Paper Heart is adorable to the point of being unbearable. It’s like a wooden xylophone or something. It’s really grating after like 20 seconds I was hoping it would just fucking end.

Who knew this could be so god damn upsetting

At the 26 second mark the annoying star of the first 45 seconds of Paper Heart makes an unbearably annoying face. It’s kind of like this only more indie.

I had hoped the entirety of Paper Heart would be in some way entertaining, but I have a sinking feeling that the entire run time will be like the first 45 seconds repeated a bunch of times, possibly getting even more unbearably twee with the introduction of Indie Twee Guy #1 Michael Cera. Here is a test to see if you would enjoy this film. If this image doesn’t piss you off then by all means watch Paper Heart, personally, I can’t really handle that bullshit, so I think I’ll watch something manly and bad ass like Interview with the Vampire.

SO FUCKING BAD ASS!!!!!!

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