Lost In Translation: Let’s watch Bill Murray mope for an hour and a half.

Dear Sofia Coppola,

I get it. I get what you were going for and it’s clever, i guess. But why does it have to be so boring? You’ve got one of the funniest, smartest actors around, one of the most attractive women out there, and Giovanni Ribisi

I'll watch pretty much anything with this guy.

Hell your movie is set in Tokyo, one of the most interesting cities in the world, and yet I hate your movie. Don’t tell me Bill Murray is depressed and not supposed to be entertaining, I’ve seen entertaining/depressed Bill Murray in THe Life Aquatic and Steve Zissou is one of my favorite characters of all time in one my favorite movies of the same category.

I saw the movie you did after this one, Marie Antoinette when it came out on DVD and I dug that, although it almost got bogged down in how clever you were but in spite of that you pulled through and made a beautiful to look at, relatively intriguing period piece/ 80’s style teen drama. So it’s not like I’m predisposed to dislike your movies and I tried to like Lost in Translation, Sofia, I really did, I even laughed a couple times, once at the part when Bill Murray gets his pictures taken for the whiskey ads and another time when Scarlett Johansson was walking around in some snow or some such bullshit and I started thinking about Bill Murray’s character in The Royal Tenenbaums, you know the part where he lists the kid from Freaks and Geeks symptoms and he says it real quite but the kid still hears him. That parts funny, and Bill Murray is super depressed. See your movie could have been really good Sofia, but again, it wasn’t.

Lost in Translation is one of those movies that people get very obsessive and defensive over, sort of like I get over Freddy Got Fingered.

I will fight you over this flick.

Why though? Nothing really happens in Lost in Translation, it’s a series of boring scenes connected by shots of the Tokyo skyline, I guess it’s sort of the story of some guys mid-life crisis and some girl not being happy in her marriage and their like mini-love affair. But what should I give a shit? It’s not like this is a new story and luckily the story is so lazily followed that we don’t really have to put up with this boring cliché. So I guess it’s a good thing that you didn’t really care about the story Sofia because I really couldn’t stand that, but in your attempt to avoid clichés within this sort of story you made an equally boring movie.

I don’t know Sofia, your movie isn’t very interesting, you created two broad main characters and 3 or 4 even broader, even less interesting, characters , but whatever people seem to like it for whatever stupid reason, maybe people like being bored. So good for you for tapping into the “People who enjoy being bored” market, I’m sure they were tired of watching Jeremiah Johnson.

I wish you luck on your future works, but just know I’m watching you, don’t make another movie that is this terrible.




You should do a sequel to Lost in Translation where Bill Murray and Scarlett Johansson get married and have a kid, but then they get murdered by the yakuza or something, and Bill has to go on a revenge killing spree through Tokyo, that would be really cool because all the Lost in Translation super fans (who I will now start referring to as Translationeirs) will freak out and throw hissy fits about how you changed the story so much. Anyway think about it.


2 Responses to “Lost In Translation: Let’s watch Bill Murray mope for an hour and a half.”

  1. You could call it “Bill Kills” or “Kill(er) Bill” or some variation of that. I’d watch the SHIT out of that movie.

  2. I like Bill Kills. He wouldn’t use a sword though, it would be cooler if he used like a gun that shoots boring, you know, to reference the first movie

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