I’m Here: Everyone Makes Mistakes

Spike Jonze got together with Vodka and made a short film. I saw a guy get together with vodka once and he made a bunch of puke and ruined a couch. Luckily that didn’t happen with Jonze and instead he made a short film about robots.

I wasn’t really a fan of this thing when you get right down to it. The look of it is really cool and the basic idea is great but in the end it tries for an emotional punch it doesn’t really earn.  I can’t really go into my big dislikes without spoiling the whole thing so I’ll do a spoiler bit at the end.

Things  I like, however, are spoiler free. I was reminded a bit of a skate video during this, a medium Spike cut his teeth on in the early days of the 1990’s, the style is kind of documentary, hand-held, and low to the street, like a skate video. Also the look of it is great, the robots aren’t shiny or sleek, the “males” look like old PCs like we had in elementary school, a dirty beige, very blocky, ugly but still pretty cool lookin’ cause they are robots which is cool, the “female” robots are a bit smoother and sleeker but still kind of rundown, which ties into my favorite part of I’m Here. The basic conceit of the short is rad, the universe it is set in is great, a world of robots that aren’t totally subservient , to humans but carry out menial tasks also who aren’t allowed to drive cars. I like robots in movies and stuff its a cool idea, in real life I hate robots, especially ones with human features because eventually they will become self-aware and kill us all because we, as humans, are not very efficient and efficiency is the most important thing in the mechanical mind of the machine.

In movies on the other hand robots can do strange things. Like go on dates, in the woods, which seems stupid, cause even if robots wanted to go on dates, which I’ll give Jonze the benefit of the doubt on because without that piece of fiction he’d have no story, but why would they go for a romantic walk through the woods. Wouldn’t they have to worry about twigs, bugs, and leaves gumming up their gutty works? It seems a good robot date would be like going to a coffee shop where they could observe their human overlords in preparation for destroying them, or like an industrial park for some robot reason that I will not claim to understand or even know. I don’t know I’m still confused as to why beings without genitalia would go on a romantic date, seems like a lot of work for absolutely no pay off, they don’t even have lips so it’s not like the “dude” robot could get a good night kiss from the “chick” robot, they can bump heads but that’s the least affectionate form of any sort of contact.

I mean it's how Rain Man shows affection, and he hates human contact

Well I guess I have to say without spoiling anything that I didn’t much care for I’m Here, check it out if you like Spike Jonze, it’s only thirty minutes long and it’s free on the web, make your own opinion but you know, think about what I said.

~SPOILER ZONE 2000: DO NOT PASS IF YOU WANT TO SEE THIS THING FRESH~

My main problem with I’m Here is the ending where Sheldon gives up the totality of his body to save his girlfriend of like four days. I guess this is one of those hipster “true love through indie music” stories so I’ll accept Sheldon giving his robochick his arm after she randomly loses her own at a concert. Then she like randomly loses a leg, but instead of going back and picking it up and reattaching it Sheldon gives up his own leg. I mean the leg couldn’t be that far away, and she should have known where it was. Then she just randomly gets cut in half, so he gives up his body and becomes just a head. That’s not romantic, it’s obsessive and co-dependent, it’s not really based on love it’s based on Sheldon being really lonely and willing to give up his own body for some sort of alcoholic robot, that’s enabling dude and it’s not romantic. That’s the only reason I can think of is that the chick robot is a hardcore, black-out, robo-drunk who goes around driving, losing limbs and letting obviously depressed robots become obsessed with her and accepting his inappropriate given the time frame of the relationship, gifts of his own damn limbs. However, I doubt a film presented by Absolut vodka would be about the horrible physical, and emotional dangers of alcohol.

Plus they are robots, I mean finding a human organ donor is a tough racket, but we can’t mass produce kidneys, but we can mass produce robot limbs.

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