Archive for the Uncategorized Category

Any Given Sunday (1999)

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , on December 14, 2012 by Parker Connell

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      Any Given Sunday is a god damn mess. Think of every sports movie cliche, now pump those with human growth hormone and mountain dew, if you make that take too much crank you’ve got Any Given Sunday. Oliver Stone’s attempt to tell the story of the wild world of pro-football is an over-the-top, badly edited, poorly written cluster-fuck of a film.
    Stone has never been known for making subtle films but Any Given Sunday is as unsubtle as film gets, at least Natural Born Killers has the semi-excuse of being an attack on subtlety. The movie starts in the middle of a game and in the opening 10 minutes alone we are assaulted with rapid-fire edits, cartoon sound effects, weird fades, pointless blur effects, also Matthew Modine being underutilized as usual. It was stressful and incredibly difficult to watch, it felt almost like having a panic attack except I’ve never had Pacino yell at me during a panic attack, and it never lets up for the rest of the movie.
    Speaking of Mr. Pacino I actually do like him in this. He is in full blown Shouting Pacino mode but Any Given Sunday is one of the few instances where this method of acting works because the rest of the film is in full on shouting overdrive, any kind of acting subtlety doesn’t even read which is probably why Cameron Diaz isn’t completely awful and why Aaron Eckhart is totally forgettable.
    Stone also continues his trend of giving James Woods one scene where he gets to just totally put everyone else to shame. Good for you Mr. Woods I hope you live forever.
    The closest thing to a theme this movie has is the always boring ‘old versus new’. Al Pacino is an old school coach, a thirty year veteran of the game and he’s being pushed around by the new school, Cameron Diaz is the owner of the team and she wants to run the team based on money and stats and all the other things that aren’t “Heart and Gumption and Wanting It The Most” and Jamie Foxx is the hot shot new guy who has his own ideas about football, and also racial issues but those speeches are badly written. Part of me thinks Stone is siding with Pacino in this regard, in ’99 Stone had already been making movies for almost 30 years and he probably had a lot to say about young guys edging in on his territory. However, Any Given Sunday is like a bad interpretation of what young people want, maybe that’s the point and Stone purposefully made a bad movie to prove that what young people is shitty… but I doubt it.

    Schizophrenic editing that is akin to a panic attack, blunt, boring, cliche writing (probably the worst writing Stone has done since Scarface), it features the only recurring puke gag in film history that I don’t like, oh and it’s two and a half hours long, there is very little to like about Any Given Sunday.

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Savages (2012)

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , on December 5, 2012 by Parker Connell

Savages Poster

    Oliver Stone is a creepy pervert and I love every minute of it. His latest film Savages is a bloody pulp action flick rife with leery close up shots of young tan coeds having sex, wearing bikinis, and doing drugs. Blake Lively is the main subject of Stone’s eery pornographic eye and she does a pretty okay job of being appealing in a totally unappealing way.
     Savages is full on U-Turn pulp Oliver Stone, none of the grandeur of Alexander or the political high-mindedness of Nixon and W. This is Natural Born Killers-lite (meaning it’s actually watchable if you are older than 16). The film is about the Best Weed Growers in the World and the hippy chick they both love. It’s also about a female cartel boss who is losing her grip on her business as well as her sanity.
    Salma Hayek plays the aging cartel boss and she wants in on the Best Fucking Weed in the World so she kidnaps Blake Lively and forces Ben and Chon (Aaron Johnson and Taylor Kitsch) to grow their magical pot for her.
What follows in terms of story is a lot of guns, and torture, and mexicans getting killed, and Benicio Del Toro being a scary bad ass with an ugly mullet. In terms of film however what follows is creepy scenes involving spit, Benicio Del Toro doing horrid gross things to Blake Lively, weird shots of young women in bikinis that have no bearing on the plot (including a girl on roller skates who falls and then some sound tech actually took the time to add in the sound of her screaming, the only reason I can think of for this is that Oliver Stone has really grown into being an old creepy perv.)
    John Travolta actually gives a pretty good performance in this, despite the fact that with each passing year he looks more and more like his character in Hairspray. He’s funny, douchey, and probably the only character who comes close to being likable.
    Yeah there is some sub-Funny Games bullshit at the end and the soundtrack is kind of like a group of old men discussed what the kids like these days, complete with an old man’s understanding of modern pop-culture ‘irony’. The narration is unnecessary and sometimes a little to cute for it’s own good, but god dammit I can’t dislike this film as much as it begs to be disliked, it’s fun, it’s perverse, and I like Taylor Kitsch, not enough to watch Battleship, but enough to give Savages a pass.

Your Choice for Film of 2009

Posted in Uncategorized on December 23, 2009 by Parker Connell

My Take on Life

Posted in Uncategorized on December 13, 2009 by Parker Connell

So this is like my… 3rd blog, but all of them have been either poorly thought out, overly thought out, or for a class. This one, however, will be different, I’m going to be posting about everything I love, see, or think, well maybe not everything as that would be boring as hell.

Mostly my posts will consist of:

-Movies (reviews/discussions)

-Books (both prose and comic)

-Video Games (reviews/discussions)

I hope you enjoy.

Love,

your friend

Happygerbaloon