Archive for Benicio Del Toro

Savages (2012)

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , on December 5, 2012 by Parker Connell

Savages Poster

    Oliver Stone is a creepy pervert and I love every minute of it. His latest film Savages is a bloody pulp action flick rife with leery close up shots of young tan coeds having sex, wearing bikinis, and doing drugs. Blake Lively is the main subject of Stone’s eery pornographic eye and she does a pretty okay job of being appealing in a totally unappealing way.
     Savages is full on U-Turn pulp Oliver Stone, none of the grandeur of Alexander or the political high-mindedness of Nixon and W. This is Natural Born Killers-lite (meaning it’s actually watchable if you are older than 16). The film is about the Best Weed Growers in the World and the hippy chick they both love. It’s also about a female cartel boss who is losing her grip on her business as well as her sanity.
    Salma Hayek plays the aging cartel boss and she wants in on the Best Fucking Weed in the World so she kidnaps Blake Lively and forces Ben and Chon (Aaron Johnson and Taylor Kitsch) to grow their magical pot for her.
What follows in terms of story is a lot of guns, and torture, and mexicans getting killed, and Benicio Del Toro being a scary bad ass with an ugly mullet. In terms of film however what follows is creepy scenes involving spit, Benicio Del Toro doing horrid gross things to Blake Lively, weird shots of young women in bikinis that have no bearing on the plot (including a girl on roller skates who falls and then some sound tech actually took the time to add in the sound of her screaming, the only reason I can think of for this is that Oliver Stone has really grown into being an old creepy perv.)
    John Travolta actually gives a pretty good performance in this, despite the fact that with each passing year he looks more and more like his character in Hairspray. He’s funny, douchey, and probably the only character who comes close to being likable.
    Yeah there is some sub-Funny Games bullshit at the end and the soundtrack is kind of like a group of old men discussed what the kids like these days, complete with an old man’s understanding of modern pop-culture ‘irony’. The narration is unnecessary and sometimes a little to cute for it’s own good, but god dammit I can’t dislike this film as much as it begs to be disliked, it’s fun, it’s perverse, and I like Taylor Kitsch, not enough to watch Battleship, but enough to give Savages a pass.

The Way of The Gun

Posted in movies with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 29, 2010 by Parker Connell

God damn you Ryan Phillippe. I used to think I had you all figured out, after Flags of our Fathers, Cruel Intentions, Breach, and Crash (which was literally a forgettable performance because I totally forgot you were in that piece of garbage) I was sure you were nothing more than a lame ass pretty boy. I mean I would often call you Robo-Phillippe boop beep beep bop. This view of you started to crack when I saw the muddled steam punk multiple reality cluster-fuck of a film Franklyn.

This movie is called Franklyn, it isn't very good

Seriously Ryan, you surprised me by being the best part of the film, playing a sort of Rorschach as written by PZ Meyers.

"Hurm... The God Delusion is a great read."

You kicked ass and took names, and kept my friends and I from turning the otherwise terrible movie off in the hopes that you would come back on-screen in that bad ass mask.

Anyone who goes as this dude for Halloween becomes a member of the Happygerbaloon Club of Awesome Dudes

I still held my judgment of you Mr. Phillipe, I figured it was nothing more than a fluke, I mean even Cuba Gooding Jr. has an Academy Award.

Honestly, this is only slightly worse than Jerry Maguire

But then it happened, I had long been told of The Way of the Gun, written and directed by Christopher McQuarrie (the dude who wrote The Usual Suspects) and starring a great cast of dudes I genuinely enjoy, as well as you Phillippe, you are the reason I kept my distance from the flick, however, I finally gave in due to the incredible draw of Benicio Del Toro.

How could anyone stay away?

But then what the hell happened man, you out-staged Del Toro, that’s not possible I mean Johnny Depp at his absolute wackiest could barely do that, and yet you did it with what appeared to be little effort. So maybe I was wrong about you Phillippe, then again you were in Crash and that’s almost unforgivable.

Okay, got that out of my system now let’s talk about the movie proper. The Way of the Gun is a really cool crime story about two criminal drifters who decide to kidnap a surrogate mother (Juliette Lewis) who is carrying the child of a rich dude and his bitchy wife. Taye Diggs and Nicky Katt, two dudes I really like but who seem to never quite make it to the big boys table, are the surrogate mother’s bodyguards who totally fail to guard her body.

But really who could blame them.

So James Caan shows up and does a really good job of being a menacing but not in an over the top kind-of-way, old school gangster type, who is like the negotiator between Del Toro and Phillippe (sorry forgot to mention that they were the drifters, but yeah they totally are the drifters) and the rich dude.

These guys. Drifters. Got it. Good.

There are two really good shoot-out set pieces. One at the beginning between The Drifters and the Body Guards, then another at the end between The Drifters and James Caan and a bunch of Old Dudes. The last one is a lot like a shoot out in on of the Nathan Drake Uncharted games, a lot of cover is used, a lot of reloading, and it’s in a sunny Mexican whore house.

This movie is really cool. Like Ryan Phillippe punching Sarah Silverman in the face and threatening to “Fuck start her head” cool. Yeah that’s a line of dialogue well actually the C-word is used just before it but I felt that would be a bit too much.

Seek this little gem of a crime thriller out. You won’t be disappointed, unless you are averse to violence and swearing, then I’m sure you can find Old Dogs at your local video store you pansy.